Current prediciments

[Cyan]

As you know, TNE, I've been helping out with these forums a little bit lately, and have even managed to become a Mod/Staff Member. However, I've been thinking on if I want to continue doing this, and I can't say I want to at this time. Not because I don't love the community, job, or anything else, but because I need to focus on getting my vision back, and find out just what I can do, and what I really want out of my abilities and life.

As it stands I'm on thin ice with myself and abilities. I can barely muster up the courage, motivation, and commitment to learn anything new, be it API, Software, or anything else really. I'm not going to lie, I'm great at what I do, but I'm not able to show it off because I have no vision, or hope.

One mistake ruins my day and makes me question what I've been doing with my life all this time. I've failed so much, and have accomplished so little. All of this is because I've been mistaken the whole time. I've been trying to do everything myself. Sure, people help - they give me concepts, ideas, and even graphics, but no one helps code my games/website. I never learned from anyone after my college days, I just learned what I thought would help me. I've developed bad habits development wise, and looking back I've faced this before with something else: Forums, and communities.

For the longest time I would go into forums thinking it was every man for himself, and that I had a right to be heard. I would get upset when people disagreed with me, and would even lash out until I was banned. It was not until here that I would learn to think differently. This is the best community I've been a part of since PSO GCN.
It's really given me ideas, hopes, dreams, fun times, friends. It's been great, and I hope it continues to be so.

I need to make my other passion great too - Programming, and Web Development/Design. To do this I'm going to need to find what TNE gave me: Friends. Community, and a place to get peer reviewed, and to hear new ideas. I want to work on a team where I can actually talk with people, and get help in the coding sense. I want to learn from people, as I have on TNE.

I have no idea where to start, really. I'm looking for young coders full of enthusiasm, and ideas. Older coders are nice, but they think differently, and while it's nice to connect with them it's not really what I'm looking for right now. I remember when I was most happy and passionate about Web Dev/Design was when I had a friend and mentor in college help me out with stuff. I just don't have that anymore, and noticing how important it is to have that it's no wonder I feel the way I do about my work.

I don't know where to look, or what to say, how do I explain this to the people/communities I'm looking to get help from? Any help would be appreciated, and thank you. Please give me feedback as well, let me know if you think something doesn't add up, is wrong, or you just want to hear more about something.

@Menashe , @DarkDepths , @everyone

 

[Juegos]

I know the situation you're in Cyan, I feel the same way to be honest. I have trouble dedicating time to learning new things even though I know I could easily do it and would benefit from it. It leads to procrastinating even for games that I've bought cause they look really cool, just because I don't often feel like learning an entire new set of rules.

Anyway, that is a hard fight, and you can certainly benefit from a community that pulls you along and pushes you to be better. As a writer, I'm lucky to have been a part of that since the beginning of TNE, as I often wrote with Menashe and Mike, which improved my skills and gave me direction in some way. I continue on it of course, even if less than before. But you are right about that need for community to help you improve in the ways you know you need to improve. You definitely shouldn't stick too long with something you have trouble finding the motivation for, as it is just going to take your energy and time away from things you might actually be motivated to do.

As for what it takes to join a new environment where you will find what you're looking for: you should probably just do the same you did when joining TNE, of course taking into account what you've learned since then. If you integrated well enough into this community you would likely be able to do the same elsewhere, like at github or wherever.

Don't really have more advice than that, though, as the only time I've ever had to join a community was with the IGN Wii Lobby several years ago, and for that I just dove in headfirst but putting lots of effort from my part.

 

[GaemzDood]

I feel the same way about writing music. I get ideas and lose them in the transition, shit is frustrating. I wanna make it big as an urban rapper, but then I just forget due to current predicaments.

Lol'ing at contrarians on Tapatalk

 

[DarkDepths]

I kind of wish I knew of a community to direct you to, but I just don't really know of any. I know how you feel though. I'm not actually sure how much you've been doing around here, because I've sort have been away for awhile. But I know that big projects can really drain enthusiasm, and getting time away from them can do wonders.

Do you have some project or idea that you are excited about at the moment? Maybe knowing some details about what you want to do will help me think of a good community for you.

 

[Cyan]

I kind of wish I knew of a community to direct you to, but I just don't really know of any. I know how you feel though. I'm not actually sure how much you've been doing around here, because I've sort have been away for awhile. But I know that big projects can really drain enthusiasm, and getting time away from them can do wonders.

Do you have some project or idea that you are excited about at the moment? Maybe knowing some details about what you want to do will help me think of a good community for you.

In all honesty I don't know what I want to do outside of I want to make a web app that communities could use. Maybe JS using NodeJS, or PHP. I dunno.

 

[Shoulder]

I get what you're saying, Cyan. I have the same issue these days with my Photography. I have all the necessary tools and the skillset to use them effectively, but the trouble can be in finding that creativity and using it as a method to help showcase my work and allow others to appreciate it as much as I do.

But no matter what though, I will never ever give it up, and neither should you, Cyan, not that you were going to quit your endeavors.

 

[Menashe]

Best thing you can possibly do, IMO, is get experience with real projects. It forces you to learn. That's how I learned and I found it infinitely more helpful than reading abstract books about programming. That was the advice DD gave me a long time ago, and it was what helped me the most in my own development in coding. Of course, after two years of coding, I realized that I don't particularly enjoy coding and didn't want to continue down that path. But that certainly taught me the ropes. And the best type of experience for me was the type with someone else on the receiving end, holding you accountable. Some people learn well by making their own projects, but for me, I felt most motivated when I knew someone was paying me for the job and I had a responsibility to research well enough to complete the project properly.

 

[Shoulder]

Best thing you can possibly do, IMO, is get experience with real projects. It forces you to learn. That's how I learned and I found it infinitely more helpful than reading abstract books about programming. That was the advice DD gave me a long time ago, and it was what helped me the most in my own development in coding. Of course, after two years of coding, I realized that I don't particularly enjoy coding and didn't want to continue down that path. But that certainly taught me the ropes. And the best type of experience for me was the type with someone else on the receiving end, holding you accountable. Some people learn well by making their own projects, but for me, I felt most motivated when I knew someone was paying me for the job and I had a responsibility to research well enough to complete the project properly.

This actually reminds me of when I was studying in Civil Engineering. In general, it's a very broad field with various types of skillsets and job careers. When I graduated, I wanted to become a Surveyor because I could be outside a lot (which I prefer over being at a desk all day), so I got hired at this firm as a Surveying intern for the summer after I graduated. I would go around using different equipment such as GPS and Total Station, and Automatic Levels (I'll spare you the details, and you can just look them up). In the end, I realized that while I certainly didn't mind doing the work, I never once thought that I could do this for 20-30 years. I gave up Surveying, even though I still developed that skill set. I managed get my foot into the door though, and I suspect it helped get my current job working at a Geotechnical firm, which while only a temp position, have the potential option of working permanently if I do a good enough job and enjoy the work.

So far, I'm enjoying it, but whether or not that'll remain the same in the coming months is another matter. All I know is if I'm learning and developing a new skillst that could also be applied to other areas in CE, or non-related fields, it'll all be worth it in the end. That being said, still having the ability to do the things we have a passion for is just as important. Two of my current hobbies/passions: video games, and photography are practically infused into my life, so I could never give them up. And my Martial Arts? It could very well be not just a hobby, but a way of life and how I look at things. And if things can go well, my career as a Civil Engineer could allow myself to still continue to enjoy the things I love in life, while still providing a living.

These are all different things I'm just noticing within the last few weeks, so ask me again in about three months, and we'll see if my perspective has changed at all.

 

[DarkDepths]

So Cyan, I couldn't really come up with any communities that might be useful to you, aside from perhaps dream in code. I've never been a member, and I only find myself there occasionally when doing some Google-Fu. If you haven't already, you might want to look into it.

Another thing, though, is that I'm using this summer as mostly a portfolio building period. If you have some kind of neat of project that you want help with, let me know, and I'd probably be happy to work on it with you!

 

[EvilTw1n]

I've failed so much, and have accomplished so little. All of this is because I've been mistaken the whole time.

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."
-Samuel Beckett