Doritos Enthusiast

repomech

resident remnant robot relic
In Canada most of the interesting flavours go on potato chips, not corn chips. President's Choice (they do thick cut ruffled, kettle cooked etc) and Miss Vickie's (kettle cooked; @Tucker ) are two of the big ones. I'll see if I can scrounge up some pics from around the webs tomorrow, but here's a list in the meantime:

Poutine
General Tao Chicken
Jamaican Jerk
Buffalo Wings and Blue Cheese
Margarita
Beer
Caesar
Smoked Sea Salt & Cracked Pepper
Tandoori Barbecue
Barbecue Baby Back Ribs
Honey Dijon
Maple Bacon -> @Mike D.
Canadian Burger
Chipotle Ranch
Moroccan Spice
Ballpark Hot Dog

Lime & Black Pepper
Sweet Chili & Sour Cream
Balsamic Vinegar & Sweet Onion
Vintage Cheddar & Red Onion
Roasted Red Pepper Grill
Honey & Roasted Garlic
 

repomech

resident remnant robot relic
Hey @Mike D. , no pressure or anything. I mean just cause it's maple bacon and all the cool kids are doing it, it's no reason that you have to. Oh, did I mention the first bag is free?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nODi6OECzs

 

EvilTw1n

Even my henchmen think I'm crazy.
Moderator
^
You know I'm down for that ish.

(I do love me some maple, some bacon, and some donuts, but I suppose I should also explain that "maple bacon donut" basically got attached to me because MBD are my initials.)
 

Majorbuddah

My real name is Dolemite


so these are the "LOCOS TACOS" doritos. what you're getting here are two different types of doritos - nacho cheese and crunchy taco - in one bag. why don't other brands of chips do this? because they aren't fucking innovative, original, ballsy or fucking loco enough to do that shit doritos does. who else is teaming up with taco bell to step their chip game up? nobody. fuckin scrubs.
anyways, it's a damn good bag of chips. the crunchy taco flavor isn't knocking off your classic nacho cheese any time soon, but the thing is, when the two flavors combine, they form up like voltron and fuck shit up. the shit is seriously good. i don't know exactly how to describe it, but when you eat a nacho cheese and a crunchy taco chip at the same time, there's some kind of synergy going on that just works for me. makes me rub my chest and moan a little bit. the double chip is greater than the sum of it's parts. try it.

LOCO/10
 

repomech

resident remnant robot relic
@Mike D. Sweet! PM me your mailing address.

@Majorbuddah 11/10 write-up, the extra point is for referencing Voltron in a food review. There's a local burger joint in Toronto that had a number of different types of fries toppings; chili, sour cream & chive, bacon & cheese etc. So my brother and I decided one day to ask them to just put all that shit together on one pile of fries. Our name for this monstrosity? Voltron fries.

@Mr-Chris I just found out these exist:



Suffice to say you now have homework. Would these be available in your neck of the woods or is this only a Scottish thing?
 

EvilTw1n

Even my henchmen think I'm crazy.
Moderator
So a co-worker overheard me talking about Maple Bacon chips, and ordered some for her son. Gave me one out of the 12 pack.

Not opening until I can share them with my friends who gave me the nickname.

(Midna in the background because reasons.)
 

Majorbuddah

My real name is Dolemite
as a man in life, sometimes shit will happen that you just don't see coming. things that push you, as a person, down one path, or down another. fucked up and unexpected shit happens to everyone, it's part of the human experience. how you handle that bounce is what determines what kind of person you are. some people call it soul. some people call it character.

Martin Luther King Jr once said, "The measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort or convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy."

i know what you're thinking right now.
"MajorBuddah what the fuck are you talking about bro?"
I'm talking about this:


























if it simply has doritos in it, is it still doritos? as a doritos enthusiast, this is the type of shit that should be keeping you up at night. cause i don't even know. so i ponied up for my boys here at TNE and powered through like a champ. i went with the ranch because, hey, i haven't had ranch in a while. fuckin ate those chips bro.

jean claude van dammed em.

let's move on to the review.






FritoLay should be fucking ashamed of themselves for whoring out doritos like this. if i was making the rules down there, heads would fucking roll. let's examine what they put in this fucking frankenstein piece of shit bag of chips. cool ranch doritos. awesome. you were done already. epic start. how'd you donut punching asshole's fuck this up!? oh, you added fucking pretzels.
remember the last time you went out and bought a bag of pretzels? fuck no you don't because it's shit-tier snack food that nobody likes. i'm eating this and wondering, "why didn't they just shit in the bag before they sealed it?" frito's are like... okay. i'd eat em if they were free, but it's not my preference. they're not as offensive as the pretzels, but any of your friends will tell you they're just dragging doritos down. kinda like when ike was dating tina. but less punchy. sun chips are some shit i like, but they were never meant to be cool ranch. that should be obvious. i honestly appreciate FritoLay for being adventurous and experimental with this fucking disaster, but it shoulda stayed in the lab. i'd like to give them an A for effort, but we don't reward mere effort here at doritos enthusiast. we reward success.



NOTDORITOS/10
 

Juegos

All mods go to heaven.
Moderator
Buddah is the spokesman of the 2010s. He has said what I wanted to say so long ago. That part about the pretzels made me shed a tear. I've been there.
 

EvilTw1n

Even my henchmen think I'm crazy.
Moderator
Oh, horseshit. I will not let you all be snack food racists against pretzels. Pretzels are their own thing. They only work in some mixes - Gardetto's ain't Gardetto's without them (and if you're not down with Gardetto's, the terrorists win). I don't like pretzels with Doritos, either, but Dorito-on-pretzel hate serves no one. That shit would be like Romani and Jews hating on each other in WWII.

Also, breaking rules - maple bacon Kettle chips? Yeah. Very yeah. At first I thought they were kind of like barbecue chips, but barbecue chips are spicier. It's pretty subtle. The maple is your sweet, the bacon is your salt, but it's almost kind of creamy tasting together. They put pancakes on the bag for a reason. On the Buddah rating scale, I place these firmly in the "wish I could dust my genitals with this before I go out tonight" end of the spectrum.
 

Juegos

All mods go to heaven.
Moderator
Maybe Doritos and Pretzels need to move past their differences. But they sure as hell aren't ready to mingle.
(That said, I'm conflicted about actual German pretzels. On one hand, they're too salty for my taste. But I can also tell that they're probably meant to be eaten with other specific foods, or dipped in mustard or something.)
 

Majorbuddah

My real name is Dolemite
Maybe Doritos and Pretzels need to move past their differences. But they sure as hell aren't ready to mingle.
(That said, I'm conflicted about actual German pretzels. On one hand, they're too salty for my taste. But I can also tell that they're probably meant to be eaten with other specific foods, or dipped in mustard or something.)
 

EvilTw1n

Even my henchmen think I'm crazy.
Moderator
> implying deez nuts ain't dusty
I said "dusty," not "musty."

("Special request," indeed, since it takes every other ingredient out of Gardetto's. :p But yeah, I've had those. Those little bastards are pretty much everyone's favorite Gardetto's ingredient.)
 

Majorbuddah

My real name is Dolemite
> implying deez nuts ain't dusty
I said "dusty," not "musty."

("Special request," indeed, since it takes every other ingredient out of Gardetto's. :p But yeah, I've had those. Those little bastards are pretty much everyone's favorite Gardetto's ingredient.)
you know the rye chips are what saves that bag!
 

EthanGK

The blunder from down under
Give me the good old green. Good by themselves or good for dipping


As for unique flavours, we have a pretty limited range of doritos but we have had some interesting chip flavours come and go out of fashion. Vegemite chips are surprisingly tasty. We had this flavour called atomic tomato which was really nice too. Didn't taste a thing like tomato though. Did taste a little like atoms.
 

Majorbuddah

My real name is Dolemite
^ i guarantee it tasted exactly like atoms haha.

i've got some green doritos i'm gonna review in a few days. just gotta get in the mood. gotta warm up to it. gotta be romanced.
 

mattavelle1

IT’S GOT A DEATH RAY!
Moderator
Yeah so I did have the Spicy Nacho not only the day Jueg was talking about, but I went back for seconds the day after.

Long story short, these could be my new all time favorites. There just like the Nacho Cheese flavor wise which I love, but they have just a little something extra at the end, almost like a surprise for your taste buds. There awesome I will be buying and eating more of them for sure. 9/10
 

Majorbuddah

My real name is Dolemite


i've been really pissed at doritos for not trying new things over the last few months, but then this comes along.

BEST THING SINCE SLICED KIDS.

so, if you had to choose between clubbing a baby seal to death with your club foot (you deformed fucks), eating your vegetables, mowing the lawn, washing the bathroom and eating these bad ass chips, you'd eat these chips. but you should really be doing all of the above. let's make our parents proud.

shit is really fucking gud. and by shit, i mean these chips. and by gud, i mean GOD.

now let's talk about "spicy street taco". of course we're all thinking about latina hookers. that's a given, no matter what we're talking about. and it's also a responsible response to the notion of "spicy street taco". but it tastes so much better than that. hammer meets fly meets flavor meets dorito's. i really can't put it better than that.

sweet chili has been eclipsed. there's a new king in town, and it's name is SST. life is good.

-MB
 

Shoulder

Your Resident Beardy Bear
I haven't had Doritos in months now, I wonder if my body could handle the sodium in them. Lately, I've been having Simply Balanced Blue corn chips with flax seed, which are quite tasty I think.

Do they make Doritos using blue corn?
 

EvilTw1n

Even my henchmen think I'm crazy.
Moderator
So I have tried the Spicy Street Taco.

The Good:
Actually tastes taco-y. No lie. Its texture is closer to what you get from freshly made chips at a good Mexican restaurant than the normal Dorito.

The Bad:
Hot. They aren't kidding when they say spicy. I like reasonably hot food, but after about half a dozen chips, there's not much flavor to be discerned with this one, just heat. If you're like buddah and you have a higher tolerance for heat, you'll love 'em.

If you're like me, then Spicy Sweet Chili and regular 'ol Spicy Nacho still rein supreme.
 

Shoulder

Your Resident Beardy Bear
So I have tried the Spicy Street Taco.

The Good:
Actually tastes taco-y. No lie. Its texture is closer to what you get from freshly made chips at a good Mexican restaurant than the normal Dorito.

The Bad:
Hot. They aren't kidding when they say spicy. I like reasonably hot food, but after about half a dozen chips, there's not much flavor to be discerned with this one, just heat. If you're like buddah and you have a higher tolerance for heat, you'll love 'em.

If you're like me, then Spicy Sweet Chili and regular 'ol Spicy Nacho still rein supreme.
I await tomorrow for results after your morning business.
 
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