Let's talk about how much we hate can openers

#1
Normally I'd just make a snarky post in the CT but holy shit do can openers suck.

Last week mine broke.



For whatever reason it just wouldn't turn the can around to cut it open. Whatever. Since I'm so dumb I forgot to get one when I wanted a tune sandwich.

I had to use a bottle opener to open a can of tuna. Ever try that? Of course you didn't cause that's fucking idiotic.

Yesterday I bought a different kind



It worked for half the can then just bent the shit out of the side of it so I couldn't cut it anymore. The other side worked a bit better until it just kept slipping off.


Now I know what you're thinking: "CoV, you're just a dumbass".

Well, I'm a 20 something year old, I live by myself, I make my own bed, I can open a fucking can of tuna and sauce. It's 2016 and we can't even perfect the art of opening cans. Why is this a problem? I'm sure cavemen didn't have this problem. We can put a man on the moon but I can't open a fucking can of sauce.

Get on the ball Black and Decker. Holy shit
 

mattavelle1

IT’S GOT A DEATH RAY!
Moderator
#3
WTF kinda upside down lookin ass can opener did you buy in that 2nd pic?

After this thread I'm more and more convinced that people just try and make stuff just so they can provide themselves with a job.

On the real tip tho what about and electric can opener?
 

Shoulder

Your Resident Beardy Bear
#5
I could let you borrow my can opener from IKEA that I got last year. I've never used it, so I don't even know if it works.
 
#6
WTF kinda upside down lookin ass can opener did you buy in that 2nd pic?

After this thread I'm more and more convinced that people just try and make stuff just so they can provide themselves with a job.

On the real tip tho what about and electric can opener?
Man I might have to. What the hell is this shit though for real?

I could let you borrow my can opener from IKEA that I got last year. I've never used it, so I don't even know if it works.
IKEA? So you had to build it yourself with have the parts missing? I bet it's crooked
 

mattavelle1

IT’S GOT A DEATH RAY!
Moderator
#8
Man I might have to. What the hell is this shit though for real?



IKEA? So you had to build it yourself with have the parts missing? I bet it's crooked
Oh I'll tell you what it is. This whole thread is "the struggle". When people say "the stuggle is real" this is the type of thing there speakin of.
 

FriedShoes

MLG
Moderator
#11
My aunt has been using the same can-opener she used since I used to live with her a dozen or so years ago. They dont make them like they used to.

Our tuna cans come with pulloff tabs, kinda like soda cans. Pretty nifty. I bet some fresh sauce would have done wonders to that spaghetti too.
 

TechnoHobbit

Ash nazg durbatulûk
#13
I know that feeling all too well. My beautiful amazing can opener that always worked broke recently and it took me buying 3-4 can openers before I could find one that actually worked decently.

And guess what? I eventually just bought one at the dollar store and somehow that works perfectly while the $10 one I had bought the week before was a piece of junk.
 

Shoulder

Your Resident Beardy Bear
#19
Silly Russians

Kinda reminds me of Newfoundland in a way

So out of my curiosity, I was looking up videos about Wisconsin; you know, to compare against Newfies, and one of the first things that popped up was about Sconnie accents. Man, we are a weird bunch of people. And yet, I'll contest that not everyone talks like that. Seeing as I'm a Sconnie Urbanite, I sort of meld between various styles of formal, and informal speaking, and as such, I don't use words or phrases like, "I'll go here once." What the hell is up with that? Up until a couple years ago, I had never heard anyone used the word, "once" at the end of the sentence to describe doing something.

And I didn't even make it to the drinking videos...
 
#20
So out of my curiosity, I was looking up videos about Wisconsin; you know, to compare against Newfies, and one of the first things that popped up was about Sconnie accents. Man, we are a weird bunch of people. And yet, I'll contest that not everyone talks like that. Seeing as I'm a Sconnie Urbanite, I sort of meld between various styles of formal, and informal speaking, and as such, I don't use words or phrases like, "I'll go here once." What the hell is up with that? Up until a couple years ago, I had never heard anyone used the word, "once" at the end of the sentence to describe doing something.

And I didn't even make it to the drinking videos...
Sounds like we have more in common.

People in St John's talk differently than where I'm from, which is only an hour away. Drive across the island and it's a different dialect again.

We use "once" quite a bit. "I'll be over the once" for example.

That said, my dad is from Ontario so I don't think my dialect is that bad compared to some people. At the same time, if TNE ever had a real life party, I doubt a lot of you would understand some words and phrases. Hell, I had to teach matt after our first Skype session.
 

Shoulder

Your Resident Beardy Bear
#21
Sounds like we have more in common.

People in St John's talk differently than where I'm from, which is only an hour away. Drive across the island and it's a different dialect again.

We use "once" quite a bit. "I'll be over the once" for example.

That said, my dad is from Ontario so I don't think my dialect is that bad compared to some people. At the same time, if TNE ever had a real life party, I doubt a lot of you would understand some words and phrases. Hell, I had to teach matt after our first Skype session.
I feel we all should band together and create our own set of dialects and words and phrases only TNE uses. Although, that could turn very bad, very quickly as well. As if we needed any more reason to make ourselves more tightly-connected with each other. It's like we live in a virtual small town. As long as don't start inbreeding, we should be ok.
 

EvilTw1n

Even my henchmen think I'm crazy.
Moderator
#23
Don't you have these in your backwards-ass 3rd world neck of the woods??

Y'know, this does beg the question of why pull-off can lids aren't a worldwide standard?

Because in the event of a catastrophic world calamity, what if all of the can openers get destroyed?

 
#25
So I went to the can isle to get some tuna and flakes of ham. I also investigated this bullshit

Flakes of turkey almost always has those rings to pull the cover off. I found 1 can of flakes of ham with it.

Tuna NEVER has it.

This is bullshit. The only reason I can come up with is because someone wants to piss me off

 

AutisAwsome

AKA FloppyPony. I am on twitter and facebook to :3
#26
We just got a new can opener recently and OMG it was terrible! :eek: It would cut half the can open but then just skim over it and then bend it on the second half for some reason. you had to run it over and over until it decided to cut and when it did it cut it in several little bits so the edges were sharp as all hell! :mad: We had to get a new cheap one but it already looks better although the other one was more expensive. moral of the story, never trust a can opener unless recommended or tried already :confused:
 
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