Some kinda breakthrough thing?

Cyan

Well-Known Member
#1
I think I'm on the edge of something...

Like, I just noticed that I no longer really trust anyone to talk to me about important things anymore except me and my bf.

I feel like I've reached a point in education, and philosophy that must people just can't understand.

I just kinda keep to myself now. I don't bother replying to trolls or haters... not even people with separate opinions... I thought this not caring was a mark of maturity, but I wonder if I've just damned myself...

A Meeting of any two objects in existence changes them forever, so by staying out of the conflict I'm stagnating myself.

To be honest though, it feels like no one ever hears me. You guys have seen it. How I bitch about not getting replies... Or convocations shift into things I don't care about, so I leave them...

I guess when I look back, I've always been punished for saying whats on my mind. I guess it's really no different here ether, as I'd still be on staff if I hadn't felt like this place accepted me.

I just wonder how all of you guys do it... Why post about things like "NO! The Wii U is going to be awesome, and this is why [insert list of facts, reasons, and opinions here]" like there's some way to change someone else mind. Most people have their mind made up on what they'll believe before even hitting the post button on their post, let alone reading your reply.

I feel like I've lost something really important, to be honest. And I can't remember what it is.

For some reason, I feel as though I've lost a battle...
 

Juegos

All mods go to heaven.
Moderator
#2
I just wonder how all of you guys do it... Why post about things like "NO! The Wii U is going to be awesome, and this is why [insert list of facts, reasons, and opinions here]" like there's some way to change someone else mind. Most people have their mind made up on what they'll believe before even hitting the post button on their post, let alone reading your reply.
Some people listen, and then reply to what you had to say. And some of them are looking to see what you have to say about what they said previously. It's not so much about changing other people's minds. It's about what think about what they think, and what they think about what you think. It's up to you whether you want to make use of other people's opinions, but you gotta give yours to them as well, it's a fair exchange. Especially when you feel like you connect with them at some level, then you care even more about their opinions and about being as thorough and truthful to them.
 

Cyan

Well-Known Member
#4
Some people listen, and then reply to what you had to say. And some of them are looking to see what you have to say about what they said previously. It's not so much about changing other people's minds. It's about what [you] think about what they think, and what they think about what you think. It's up to you whether you want to make use of other people's opinions, but you gotta give yours to them as well, it's a fair exchange. Especially when you feel like you connect with them at some level, then you care even more about their opinions and about being as thorough and truthful to them.
Hmm, I wonder if that means I lost concern for what people think about what I believe. Maybe I begun caring more about what people thought of me. Since my time online I've kinda shifted from one extreme to the other. Maybe I need to work on understanding that while I need to act proper I also need to speak my mind.

What do you guys think?
 

NES_Dreams

Active Member
#5
Some people listen, and then reply to what you had to say. And some of them are looking to see what you have to say about what they said previously. It's not so much about changing other people's minds. It's about what think about what they think, and what they think about what you think. It's up to you whether you want to make use of other people's opinions, but you gotta give yours to them as well, it's a fair exchange. Especially when you feel like you connect with them at some level, then you care even more about their opinions and about being as thorough and truthful to them.
Seems logical to me, yep.
 

Cyan

Well-Known Member
#8
I DGAF what just about everyone thinks of me.... So I honestly don't know how to help, when most likey, I need help myself....

Good luck though.... I'm sure you will figure it out for yourself, Cyan....
I guess it's cause the more people know the real me the more likely they are to not think highly of me, and that leads to things like loss of jobs, friends, respect, opportunities.
 

NES_Dreams

Active Member
#9
Wow, in a broader sense this is exactly my problem, lol. It's a damn good song too.
Oh? heh

And it sure is, yep.

Here's another classic for you...hone-in on those lyrics, bud -- blueprint for this life, especially when the mind gets to thinking about shit like "thinking highly of the real you". ;)

 

Shoulder

Your Resident Beardy Bear
#11
I think I'm on the edge of something...

Like, I just noticed that I no longer really trust anyone to talk to me about important things anymore except me and my bf.

I feel like I've reached a point in education, and philosophy that must people just can't understand.

I just kinda keep to myself now. I don't bother replying to trolls or haters... not even people with separate opinions... I thought this not caring was a mark of maturity, but I wonder if I've just damned myself...

A Meeting of any two objects in existence changes them forever, so by staying out of the conflict I'm stagnating myself.

To be honest though, it feels like no one ever hears me. You guys have seen it. How I bitch about not getting replies... Or convocations shift into things I don't care about, so I leave them...

I guess when I look back, I've always been punished for saying whats on my mind. I guess it's really no different here ether, as I'd still be on staff if I hadn't felt like this place accepted me.

I just wonder how all of you guys do it... Why post about things like "NO! The Wii U is going to be awesome, and this is why [insert list of facts, reasons, and opinions here]" like there's some way to change someone else mind. Most people have their mind made up on what they'll believe before even hitting the post button on their post, let alone reading your reply.

I feel like I've lost something really important, to be honest. And I can't remember what it is.

For some reason, I feel as though I've lost a battle...
You want my honest opinion? I believe it's confidence.
 

Wolven

The Wolf of TNE Street
#13
Cyan, I feel like a dick for saying this, but I will repeat what my AP Language teacher told my class on the first day.

You are not special.

This is not me 'punishing' you for what you say, this is me trying to help. You feel like you can turn to no one, but in the sense that (I THINK) you are talking in, you really can't. Unfortunately to be happy, there are some things you have to keep to yourself. Not everybody will agree with your views and if you post them up, you're open to either positive or negative reception.

For the umpteenth time, people here care about you, they feel happiness towards you, sadness, pity, and even anger sometimes, and that's normal and the way its meant to be. People don't ignore you on accident, but they don't mean ill will by doing so. People reply to messages that are within their own interests. Every time before I post, I always ask myself 'Who Cares?' and sometimes, I am wrong about what I think people care about. This is not a snarky 'who cares?' type of comment, this is a sincere question, as in 'will someone find this comment within their interests?'

Admittedly, you are the only one that can solve your problems. We don't argue to persuade in here, at least I hope not, we argue to invite people into our way of thinking.

You may have or may have not lost something important, that's something that you must decide. It sounds like you are really sensible to certain things, and nobody blames you. Everybody is wired a different way, but like Shoulder said, this is can mainly be fixed with confidence aka don't care about what anybody thinks.

Enjoy life the best you can man, you've had it tough, learn to forgive and forget, we are stupid all throughout life, and we do dumb things that sometimes hurt people, and sometimes we are hurt by really dumb things. Good luck, and hope everything gets better.

(Also, sorry for the MGSV-level pacing of this post, internet went out halfway through typing this and I lost my train of thought)

Late Edit: When I saw the title, I thought some sort of scientific breakthrough happened lol.
 

Shoulder

Your Resident Beardy Bear
#14
I don't quite understand what you mean...
Stand up for yourself, and learn to not give a shit if someone doesn't reply to a post of yours or may not always have an interest in what you do. I know there are people on TNE who don't give a shit of some of the things I do, or like, and the truth is I don't care. Why do I post about them? Because I like it. And if nothing else, it shows I have that interest, and have no shame or complaints talking about it.

If you feel there's something missing in your life, only YOU can figure that out. And if I must be honest again, if you still cannot find what you are looking for, maybe some form of therapy might be in cards. I've been told the same thing as of recently, and it is something I've considered.

I honestly don't know what else I can say really.

 

Cyan

Well-Known Member
#15
Cyan, I feel like a dick for saying this, but I will repeat what my AP Language teacher told my class on the first day.

You are not special.
I can't help but feel that you're right, but I also can't help but feel that you're wrong.

I've survived a lot of things, and learned a lot of things as well. I can program in like 6 languages, 4 of which were self taught. (This isn't even counting my scripting abilities.)

At the same time, I also recognize that others before, after, and during my life have also accomplished amazing feats. In fact, I'd say that everyone is special.
I was thinking today, as I waited for my ride home, about how amazing it is that the atoms of the universe have aligned, and communicated in such a way that we can experience this thing we call coherent existence. It actually put me in a pretty good mood, knowing I'm blessed enough to have the power to experience things, and even unique things. To change things, and to have myself changed.

I'd say it's more correct to say that everybody is special before saying nobody is.

It's a little deep of a answer, but it's a rather important question really, should I be proud of myself, or displeased?

The more I think about it the more confusing it becomes.
I think I need to feel my way though it, as there will never be enough data to make a perfect decision.

This is not me 'punishing' you for what you say, this is me trying to help. You feel like you can turn to no one, but in the sense that (I THINK) you are talking in, you really can't. Unfortunately to be happy, there are some things you have to keep to yourself. Not everybody will agree with your views and if you post them up, you're open to either positive or negative reception.
I think you're right. To be happy you muse hide your true self from people, and ware the appropriate masks that allow you to live in society. I learned this quite a while ago. Wghat I'm talking about, however though is becoming so disconnected with people (online, and to a lesser extend offline) that I no longer cared what their input, or output was - Yet I still wanted to be in a forum. I've noticed, and corrected this, for now at least. I'm reminding myself that each of you is a full living breathing, and special, person on the other side of those avatars. It's really making me appreciate what you guys have to say a lot more.

For the umpteenth time, people here care about you, they feel happiness towards you, sadness, pity, and even anger sometimes, and that's normal and the way its meant to be. People don't ignore you on accident, but they don't mean ill will by doing so. People reply to messages that are within their own interests. Every time before I post, I always ask myself 'Who Cares?' and sometimes, I am wrong about what I think people care about. This is not a snarky 'who cares?' type of comment, this is a sincere question, as in 'will someone find this comment within their interests?'
Thank you. I do realize that people here care about me. I might have lost sight of that, but this was more about the other way around. I had basically stopped caring about you guys. Not in a mean way, or anything. I just forgot you were all people, pretty much. I forgot how awesome it is to be able to talk with you all from all over the world using software, electricity, intelligence, and all that good stuff. I forgot that each of you guys are unique, as is everyone else online. I forgot how awesome you guys are, pretty much.

Though, I kind of disagree with you on one thing here. You should post things, even if you think no one cares. Cause you can't know everything, and you might be surprised.

We don't argue to persuade in here, at least I hope not, we argue to invite people into our way of thinking.
This, this is what I had mainly forgotten. I had started to do that, and it made posting no fun.


You may have or may have not lost something important, that's something that you must decide. It sounds like you are really sensible to certain things, and nobody blames you. Everybody is wired a different way, but like Shoulder said, this is can mainly be fixed with confidence aka don't care about what anybody thinks.

Enjoy life the best you can man, you've had it tough, learn to forgive and forget, we are stupid all throughout life, and we do dumb things that sometimes hurt people, and sometimes we are hurt by really dumb things. Good luck, and hope everything gets better.

(Also, sorry for the MGSV-level pacing of this post, internet went out halfway through typing this and I lost my train of thought)

Late Edit: When I saw the title, I thought some sort of scientific breakthrough happened lol.
Thanks, Wolven. You're awesome :D




I'm kinda noticing other things about myself too.
I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself to be the absolute best in things (Like games, for example). It's okay to want to be better, but it's not okay for me to belittle myself because I'm not. And that I should just focus on having fun with friends. It's not like I'm on a conquest or anything, I want to make people happy, not sad. You guys know what I'm talking about?

I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself right now. The next step is to just remember it all, lol.
 

Cyan

Well-Known Member
#16
Stand up for yourself, and learn to not give a shit if someone doesn't reply to a post of yours or may not always have an interest in what you do. I know there are people on TNE who don't give a shit of some of the things I do, or like, and the truth is I don't care. Why do I post about them? Because I like it. And if nothing else, it shows I have that interest, and have no shame or complaints talking about it.
Okay, I get it now, and yeah. I feel your absolutely right. I need to stand up for myself more often. Not in a violent, or mean way, but I need to voice myself. I'm the only one in existence who has my voice after all. No one can do that for me, lol.
 

sjmartin79

White Phoenix of the Crown
#17
I think you're right. To be happy you muse hide your true self from people, and ware the appropriate masks that allow you to live in society. I learned this quite a while ago. Wghat I'm talking about, however though is becoming so disconnected with people (online, and to a lesser extend offline) that I no longer cared what their input, or output was - Yet I still wanted to be in a forum. I've noticed, and corrected this, for now at least. I'm reminding myself that each of you is a full living breathing, and special, person on the other side of those avatars. It's really making me appreciate what you guys have to say a lot more
This is where I think you are wrong. You should never hide your true self from people. The most important thing when it comes to self-worth is to be happy with who you are. No one else can provide that happiness for you. It has to come from within. And once you are comfortable and happy with who you are, always be your true self.

When you are your true self, you will encounter two types of people: 1) Those who like you for who you are (flaws and all), 2) Those who don't like you for who you are.

As my grandmother always said, "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter". (Meaning, if someone likes you as you are, they won't fault you for all you are not, and if someone doesn't like you for who you are, that is on them, not you, and they can eff off. Two tears in a bucket and move on.)
 

NES_Dreams

Active Member
#18
This is where I think you are wrong. You should never hide your true self from people. The most important thing when it comes to self-worth is to be happy with who you are. No one else can provide that happiness for you. It has to come from within. And once you are comfortable and happy with who you are, always be your true self.

When you are your true self, you will encounter two types of people: 1) Those who like you for who you are (flaws and all), 2) Those who don't like you for who you are.

As my grandmother always said, "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter". (Meaning, if someone likes you as you are, they won't fault you for all you are not, and if someone doesn't like you for who you are, that is on them, not you, and they can eff off. Two tears in a bucket and move on.)
Spot on.
(claps)
 

Shoulder

Your Resident Beardy Bear
#19
This is where I think you are wrong. You should never hide your true self from people. The most important thing when it comes to self-worth is to be happy with who you are. No one else can provide that happiness for you. It has to come from within. And once you are comfortable and happy with who you are, always be your true self.

When you are your true self, you will encounter two types of people: 1) Those who like you for who you are (flaws and all), 2) Those who don't like you for who you are.

As my grandmother always said, "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter". (Meaning, if someone likes you as you are, they won't fault you for all you are not, and if someone doesn't like you for who you are, that is on them, not you, and they can eff off. Two tears in a bucket and move on.)
This is the correct answer. You have to be yourself, otherwise you are living as a different person. It'd be as though you're wearing a mask and concealing your identity. That's not how to live your life. It might work in the movies when the hero has to go into hiding, but in the real world, it doesn't do anything to help solve your problems.

That's been my experience anyway.
 

Odo

Well-Known Member
#21
In fact, I'd say that everyone is special..
I've got to disagree.

Today if you piss at a bottle and show it on a museum, people'd call it art.

So you ask, what's art? Those people will say to you: everything is art.

In my opinion, if everything is art, nothing is art.

So, if everyone is special, nobody is special.

Then I prefer the concept of I'm not special and you're not special, because you only can be special in a certain point of view.

You may be special for me and I may be special for you. But without me and you, we're just ordinary.
 

EvilTw1n

Even my henchmen think I'm crazy.
Moderator
#24
Cyan, I feel like a dick for saying this, but I will repeat what my AP Language teacher told my class on the first day.

You are not special.
The only thing of value I took from a course on evolutionary psychology (which was mostly junk science) is that "you are not unique in being unique." Which is basically a slightly more elegant Tyler Durden-ism.

You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

Yes, you can appreciate and be proud of your own unique skill-set. It doesn't mean you're elevated or above anyone, because everyone else is unique, too, and you're all part of the same closed loop. It's all a zero-sum game, which leads us to...
We don't argue to persuade in here, at least I hope not, we argue to invite people into our way of thinking.
On the "why even debate" sort of angle, I'd hope that people realize the point isn't to end up like this:



If you're arguing yourself into circles, you're doing it wrong. Reevaluate.

(I fail at this all the time. That's part of the point. "Ever tried, ever failed. No matter, try again. Fail again. Fail better.")

We discuss certain topics and debate them because debating can be interesting, you can learn (even if you aren't in agreement, you become aware of new facts and perspectives; you gain knowledge and learn empathy), and it keeps your mind sharp. If you don't ever get out of your comfort zone to engage people unlike you, you're cutting off a path of intellectual and emotional learning.

Living is a matter of engagement. You play the game because the game is all you have. This is a discussion forum, after all.
 

Odo

Well-Known Member
#25
Living is a matter of engagement. You play the game because the game is all you have. This is a discussion forum, after all.
This is, but you can't deny that Nintendo is superior and PS/Xbox owners are following the path to damnation.



Kimishima agrees
 

Shoulder

Your Resident Beardy Bear
#26
I've got to disagree.

Today if you piss at a bottle and show it on a museum, people'd call it art.

So you ask, what's art? Those people will say to you: everything is art.

In my opinion, if everything is art, nothing is art.

So, if everyone is special, nobody is special.

Then I prefer the concept of I'm not special and you're not special, because you only can be special in a certain point of view.

You may be special for me and I may be special for you. But without me and you, we're just ordinary.
You just gave me some ideas for my "videogames as art" article I've been working on.

Speaking of the special thing, Carlin had a good point to bring about with that how this whole notion of "Every child is special." He basically said fuck you, and every child is not clearly not special. If every child is special, then that's means we are all special, and it loses all its fucking meaning.
 
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