But in all seriousness though, I'll break it down for you. Let's cue the music:
Finding Matt's house was a lot like finding the Princess in Mario. Just when you think you have it, it's not quite where you'd expect, so after a few minutes on the phone with Matt, I pulled up, and parked behind his riding lawnmower that was sitting in the garage. I got out of the car, Matt came outside, and it felt as though we stood there motionless for a beat. I then did what I said years ago that I'd do, gave the big guy a big hug that seemed to last about as long as a Super Mario speedrun. The first 2 minutes or so after were slightly awkward since we know each other, but have never seen each other in person. It's a lot like seeing someone you know naked for the first time. At the least, you hope to put on a good show.
Anyway, within the next five minutes, I'm lending a helping hand with the biscuits and gravy that Matt's wife was preparing, and he's showing my around the homestead (which is tight as hell, I must say), and discussing his potential plans for improving the house in the future. Dinner was delicious, I had a Kentucky Ginger Ale (quite good actually), and we sat on the couch all evening, just chillin', and watching the Olympics.
The next morning, Matt takes me out to breakfast at one of the local restaurants, and an orgasmic omelette and some fluffy pancakes to finish it off. After breakfast, Matt showed me around, where he grew up, his first apartment with his wife, and the fencing that his HS friend hit with his Ford Explorer as Matt was riding shotgun that mysteriously had no dings or scratches to speak of. His friend simply said, "That was pretty crazy."
Not long after, I got to meet the parents as well as some of Matt's co-workers, and everyone is about as chill/crazy as Matt is, so I knew right away I felt right at home with his family and peeps. Even his longtime friend and colleague, Juicy J, complimented on my handshake and facial hair, so I past the first test. Matt later on then showed me the stonework that his company is so well known for, and let me tell you, any of the photos you've seen here don't do it justice. These guys have some tremendous talant and skill in what they do, and even have their own little tricks of the trade which I won't reveal to you. Want to know? Go visit Mattavelle.
One of the more interesting things about Matt driving me around in his personal/company truck is he does get a lot of attention. I swear he has friends at every stoplight who want to chat while driving. Talk about a very popular dude who is very good with his hands shaping things that are always rock-hard. Even briefly got to meet his pastor who looks and sounds as crazy as Matt is. Is everyone in Matt's neck of the woods like this? Well...maybe not the guy who was standing and glaring at us when passing by his old apartment from years back. I swear we thought he was either an axe murderer, a methhead, drug lord, or all of the above. Quite strange indeed...
After picking up the kids, Matt and I headed back to Mattavelle Villa, and like before, just chilled. Had Chinese for dinner, and then I had the idea of reinacting the scene from Risky Business in their Foyer (which I for some reason confused it with Footloose. Something was obviously loose about me...). I fucking owned that shit.

We watched more of the olympics, getting ourselves chilled, I finished my bottle of wine, and then got to watching Matt play some Mario Golf. Not quite Happy Gilmore, but it'll do. Suck my white ass, ball!!!
I was then asked if I wanted to play some F-Zero GX. I never say no to F-Zero, so I tried my hand at the AX Cup, and those were some fun courses, especially the final one since it took me three tried without flying myself off the course. Now, Matt has never finished the story mode in F-Zero, so I decided I'd try my hand again, and after several failed attempts, I beat Chapter 6 for him (You're welcome!), and then backtracked to Chapter 5, where I set my sights to beat Chapter 5 on very hard which I had never done. I warmed up by beating it on hard, and then spent the next hour trying to beat it on very hard.
So here's the thing: You have a limited time to escape the tunnel before the door closes and you explode (Must be Matt's Super Exploder perhaps), and in this case, 40 seconds. After an hour of failed attempts, I cleared the mission in 40.117 secs. So for all intents and purposes, I broke F-Zero GX. In other words, so much awesome was happening, it forgot there were only 40 seconds. Matt then played a little bit of F-Zero before we all went to bed.
The next morning, Matt and I headed out to get some locally made Donuts, and some anti-freeze for my car (the night before, I noticed there was hardly any coolant in the expansion tank, so I bought a gallon of coolant). Damn, those donuts were fucking tasty as well. Took one for the road, got myself packed and loaded up in the car, said my final goodbyes, and gave my final hugs and kisses.
So yeah, Matt and I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything we both could've hoped for. I am welcomed back anytime at the Mattavelle Villa, and definitely felt as though I became part of the family. Almost feel like Ray Liotta in
Goodfellas.
Does that explain enough for ya?